Tonight's my last evening in Adelaide for a while. Adelaide's been a sport and put on some fine weather to see me out. Wanted to go for a final swim this arvo but feel guilty about not doing some last minute work, especially with time lost to cleaning and packing.
The leaves are starting to turn here and despite the heat in the day, there is already a bite in the evening air, especially walking home into the southerly. Said goodbye to the guard dogs at the mechanics the other night and it's silly how little things like that can make you melancholy.
There are lots of people and places I will miss here, but I am looking forward to getting back to NZ. Like last December, I'm in transition again. It's always unsettling and makes me feel unproductive. I am looking forward to settling back into NZ and finding my place again.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
...beating like a hammer...
really really like this acoustic version of Metric's Help I'm Alive. I'm gonna miss you JJJ!
Black sand
I am leaning over the sink washing up when I hear it again over the late news:
"...oil spill..."
"...Moreton Island..."
"...wost environmental disaster in Queensland's history..."
I pause and dry my hands and watch as scenes so familiar to me drift across the screen. Tears prick my eyes again and I dare them to spill over.
They don't, this time.
Of course I am angry about the spill. Why my island? Why? It's a rare occasion I don't listen to the rational, marine biologist in me, who would play it down, and explain it was only accident. They didn't mean to ...did they?
I have a vague recollection of hearing about an oil spill when I was child, still living on Moreton Island. (It was probably the Exxon Valdez.) I remember thinking, that I hoped it never happened on my island. And now it has.
I remember seeing for the first time the fine black mineral sand in the Philippines, and thinking how much I preferred the bright white sand back at home. Now the sand is black there too. They say the oil is being covered up by sand drift already, but it still lurks below the surface.
I'm not sure now what upsets me about it exactly. I feel guilty, like one might when you find out your grandmother is gravely ill, and you haven't seen them in a long time. Why didn't I visit more?
I feel like a traitor as well. Here I am, working as a marine biologist, using my training to protect another country's environment.
I feel a bit helpless too. What could I do anyway? Fill plastic bags - oddly a petroleum product - with oily sand? Help rescue sea birds that will probably die anyway?
I think I need to go back there again sometime, touch the sand, climb the trees and feel the water again, and make peace with it.
"...oil spill..."
"...Moreton Island..."
"...wost environmental disaster in Queensland's history..."
I pause and dry my hands and watch as scenes so familiar to me drift across the screen. Tears prick my eyes again and I dare them to spill over.
They don't, this time.
Of course I am angry about the spill. Why my island? Why? It's a rare occasion I don't listen to the rational, marine biologist in me, who would play it down, and explain it was only accident. They didn't mean to ...did they?
I have a vague recollection of hearing about an oil spill when I was child, still living on Moreton Island. (It was probably the Exxon Valdez.) I remember thinking, that I hoped it never happened on my island. And now it has.
I remember seeing for the first time the fine black mineral sand in the Philippines, and thinking how much I preferred the bright white sand back at home. Now the sand is black there too. They say the oil is being covered up by sand drift already, but it still lurks below the surface.
I'm not sure now what upsets me about it exactly. I feel guilty, like one might when you find out your grandmother is gravely ill, and you haven't seen them in a long time. Why didn't I visit more?
I feel like a traitor as well. Here I am, working as a marine biologist, using my training to protect another country's environment.
I feel a bit helpless too. What could I do anyway? Fill plastic bags - oddly a petroleum product - with oily sand? Help rescue sea birds that will probably die anyway?
I think I need to go back there again sometime, touch the sand, climb the trees and feel the water again, and make peace with it.
Monday, 16 March 2009
no sex for ramen
Have been eating surprisingly well, not sure if it is actually a symptom of procrastination or a sign of maturity...? When I was writing up my Honours, I was still living at home, which meant lunches made for me when I had no time, and dinners kept warm in the oven. Looked up on my filing cabinet just now and see that my packet of ramen - normally a staple of mine, even when not busy! - has gone untouched. It could be that it has been buried under a mountain of empty coke cans and beer bottles up until recently - but I'm sure if I'd become hungry enough, I would've dug them out! Today I ate 2 hot X buns for breakfast, bacon/avocado/tomato sandwiches for lunch, more hot X buns for smoko and I have yummy leftover roo bolognese at home for tea - not bad! I must admit there is much repetition in my diet - I have been eating roo mince since Saturday, and will have enough for at least another meal after tonight... But healthier than ramen I guess!
Poor ramen - don't worry, my sweet, I will have you before my time is up here... :D
Poor ramen - don't worry, my sweet, I will have you before my time is up here... :D
Master thesis
...well I wouldn't call myself one just yet! But after much procrastination this weekend, I finally reminded myself on driving master docs in Word again and created my first thesis master, with five - yes five! - COMPLETE sub-documents/slaves, aka chapters....! OMG it's alive, IT'S ALIVE! Muahahahahahahah! :D
Saturday, 14 March 2009
links
yep totally procastinating this Saturday evening. have a massive chocolate craving, but none in the house!! argh. anyway, thanks to some referring links, my SiteMeter is through the roof. Lol. Almost a visitor a day of late! Hehe. that's ok, don't want too many people reading this, otherwise I'll have to start making an effort.
Anyways, thought I'd return the favour and add their addresses to my sidebar... please do visit them!
So many things to blog about but another time... fucking oil spills! RAGE
Anyways, thought I'd return the favour and add their addresses to my sidebar... please do visit them!
So many things to blog about but another time... fucking oil spills! RAGE
Friday, 13 March 2009
Three weeks
It's hard to believe that I've been back here for 10 weeks, and away from NZ for almost 3 months. Crazy. SO much has happened in that time, it feels like I've shed so many skins, and there are still probably a couple more to be sloughed off! Hehe makes me sound quite reptilian, doesn't it.
I am handing up 5/8 chapters - complete - next week, and the whole thing has been a bit exhilarating and terrifying. One because it almost feels like I can finish this, and I occasionally wondered if I really could do it. And two, because I know I still have so much work ahead of me, I don't want to get too excited and take my eye off the prize at the end.
I am getting excited about returning to NZ, even though I know the weather will not be half as nice as it has been here. I am looking forward to getting Harry out of the cattery and finding a cool pad for us to live in the city and kicking tyres while looking for a new car. But again I don't want to get too distracted and lose momentum right before the end.
At this stage I am still aiming to be back before Easter, which is scary because really - that is only 3 weeks away. Need to start thinking of booking flights and packing up my life here, and also my plan of attack when I get back. Realistically, despite all good intentions, I don't look like printing and handing in before I leave, but if I can at least get the writing - and most essentially the thinking - out of the way, the formatting and printing I hope can be done from the other side of the Tasman.
I know I have said it before, but I think by the end of next week it will all start to fall into place. :)
I am handing up 5/8 chapters - complete - next week, and the whole thing has been a bit exhilarating and terrifying. One because it almost feels like I can finish this, and I occasionally wondered if I really could do it. And two, because I know I still have so much work ahead of me, I don't want to get too excited and take my eye off the prize at the end.
I am getting excited about returning to NZ, even though I know the weather will not be half as nice as it has been here. I am looking forward to getting Harry out of the cattery and finding a cool pad for us to live in the city and kicking tyres while looking for a new car. But again I don't want to get too distracted and lose momentum right before the end.
At this stage I am still aiming to be back before Easter, which is scary because really - that is only 3 weeks away. Need to start thinking of booking flights and packing up my life here, and also my plan of attack when I get back. Realistically, despite all good intentions, I don't look like printing and handing in before I leave, but if I can at least get the writing - and most essentially the thinking - out of the way, the formatting and printing I hope can be done from the other side of the Tasman.
I know I have said it before, but I think by the end of next week it will all start to fall into place. :)
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